Introducing UV and Glow in the Dark lube and condoms: Take the party back to the bedroom.
In a recent survey published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour only 65% of straight women reported that they were able to orgasm during sexual activity, compared to 95% of heterosexual men. A little unfair, don’t you think?
Here at PaintGlow, we’re a big fan of equality and we’ve decided that we need to tackle this orgasm gap head on.
Our latest range of innovative products – UV and Glow in the Dark Condoms and Lube – are set to penetrate the market as they spice up the bedroom antics of people across the globe. After a cracking night out or a slushy romantic dinner with that special someone – why should the fun stop there?
Here are a few reasons why we think that you need our coloured UV and Glow in the Dark Condoms and Lube in your life. Before, during and after – we’ve got your back.
Easy to find
You’ll be able to find these glowing garments instantly. All you need to do is open the drawer and BAM! There they are. Glowing like the sparks that are already flying between you and your bae.
In another scenario: it’s the morning after and a used condom has accidentally found its way to the floor. A friend or, more embarrassingly, a relative walks in and spots it. GODDAMN IT! With our Glow in the Dark Condoms, you’ll never feel that shame again. Wherever these guys land, they’ll stand out like a flamingo in a sausage factory. It’ll be that extra little nudge you need to get out of bed and bin the little critter before anyone sees it.
Lube is such an overlooked area of modern Health & Safety. Another recent survey revealed that 94% of sexy bedroom accidents are lube related. These vary from headbutts, falling off the bed and a few post-intercourse slips as a result of lube that had spilt on the floor. By inventing Glow in the Dark Lube, we’d like to think that we are doing our part for the accident-prone community. After all, where there’s a blame there’s a claim.
Bedroom preferences vary from person to person. Don’t worry, we’re not going to go there. But if the standard ‘lights on or lights off’ debate is one that you’re tired of having, PaintGlow has heard you and is here to answer your call! We’re good like that.
Imagine this: the lights will be off, but there will be one thing shining brightly.
We go into production from TODAY onward so be sure to place your order before Tom, Dick and Johnny get there first!
*This blog was an April Fool’s*